


What’s grandpa doing here?

by Moonlight511



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlight511/pseuds/Moonlight511
Summary: Lee hates Barney being insulted. Barney hates Lee getting stared at. So they insult and stare at each other instead
Relationships: Lee Christmas/Barney Ross
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	What’s grandpa doing here?

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue how this happened. I haven’t written anything ever and now that’s the second fic within less than two weeks. This is nowhere near being beta’d, not even really edited after writing it. English still isn’t my native language, yada yada yada..  
> Oh and this obviously was my very first time writing a sexy scene ever :D

Barney and Lee were the last ones at the hangar unloading the plane and some such. The others already went home, probably taking that long awaited shower everyone always talked about on the flights home. But as it seemed, it was their duty to be the ones cleaning up after everyone, they were the boss and second-in-command after all. 

When Barney was about to lift one of the ammunition boxes, he flinched and groaned, straightening himself without the box. Since Lee was right besides him he obviously noticed, giving Baney a questioning look, asking, “You okay?” 

“ ‘m fine, just the shoulder again.” 

The look Lee gave him now was more along the lines of ‘I told you so’ and he said just as much, “I told you it’s your rotator cuff. You need to start fucking train it already.. When it tears you won’t be holding a gun for at least three weeks.”

“You a doctor now?” Barney huffed. He didn’t need Lee mothering him. As if being in pain wasn’t enough.

“Come on, I just wanna help. You just need to build some muscle, steady it and you’ll be fine.”

Barney, obviously not convinced by Lee’s choice of words, slowly turned around without saying anything. He lifted his arms to the sides, not even flexing but with his naked shoulders in his tank top, apparently asking, if maybe he wanted to rethink what he’d said. 

Of course Lee got what this was about, but still couldn’t help to ask, “What? Wanna show me your tattoos?” 

Barney snorted, turning around again, when Lee spoke on, “You know what I mean. You need to strengthen those muscles by doing many reps with moderate weight.”

“Are you a personal trainer now, too?” 

“Fuck you! Gym tomorrow, I’ll show you what to do. And before you tell me, you’re not signed up in any gym, I’m a premium member, I can take someone with me for free.”

Barney knew exactly that this conversation was over, so he just said, “Aye, aye, Sir.” Which made Lee roll his eyes and stepped back, probably getting his stuff. 

They’ve been almost done anyway, so they just left the rest for another day and went home. Showering and sleeping in a real bed were even better after a few days on mission after all. 

The next morning the sun was barely up when Barney drank his first coffee, leaning against the counter in his kitchen. He would’ve been confused about who would call him this early, but he already knew it was Christmas. So without checking the called ID, he picked up saying, “Christmas, it’s the asscrack of dawn. What’s up?” 

“Don’t even try and tell me you were still sleeping. It’s day one post-op…” Which was true, nobody slept in just one day after being back from a mission, but sometimes Barney just forgot how good Lee actually knew him. 

“So, gym.. I’ll text you the address, meet me there around 3pm.”

Lee hung up before Barney could protest and that’s probably why he did it. So Barney had no choice but to drink up his coffee, get some clothes and meet Lee at his gym this afternoon. 

When he arrived at the address, Lee’s Ducati was already parked in one of the spots, Lee leaned against it casually, wearing sweatpants and his leather jacket. Barney would never admit that he spotted Lee before his Ducati, or that he needed a second to get over the fact how casual and.. good he looked, but it was true after all. 

When they went inside Lee simply raised his membership card in the vague direction of a juvenile desk clerk, saying, “He’s with me” while jerking his thumb back in Barney’s direction. Lee already passed the counter when the teenager behind it laughed, “What’s grandpa doing here?”. 

Barney, not really offended, just chuckled. At least until he saw Lee abruptly stopping. He turned around, gaze fixed on the boy, stepping closer until he was only an arms length away. He propped himself up on the counter, leaning in, “I’d be careful what I’d say. Otherwise  _ grandpa _ is gonna snap your neck with two fingers only.” 

Barney could only stare at Lee. He wasn’t really affronted by the comment and he especially wouldn’t have imagined Lee even reacting to it. He teased him with his age at least twice a day. After a few seconds Barney started walking again, following Lee who also began to move with one last deadly stare at the desk clerk. 

When Barney began to speak, asking, “What..?” Lee interrupted him instantly, “Don’t! Just..  _ don’t _ !”

Today was probably not a good day to be around Lee Christmas, but then again, Barney knew how to handle grumpy Lee. What he didn’t know how to handle was Lee being this kind of protective. But Barney didn’t want to put too much thought into it, so he just told himself, Lee was pissed off by something else and that was the outcome. 

After they changed their clothes and walked into the weights area Lee already seemed in a much better mood. At least the frown on his face was gone. He showed Barney around and recommended him exercises with dumbbells, the cable pull and straps to work on his rotator cuff problem. So Barney got to work, that was why he was here after all, starting with some dumbbell exercises. In the meantime Lee started with some cardio, running a few miles on the treadmill in the adjacent cardio area. When Barney already changed the dumbbell for the cable pull, Lee entered the weights area again. Only this time his loose-fitted shirt was in his hand instead of on his upper body, sweat glistening on his muscles. Barney knew how Lee looked without a shirt, but he still enjoyed the sight for a few seconds before looking away. 

Everyone else apparently couldn’t just look away, Barney noticed. When they walked into the gym earlier literally nobody batted an eye, but now almost everyone just stopped and stared at Lee, who was either oblivious to their stares or just didn’t care. But Barney was even more aware that they seemed to think it would be okay to goggle him blatantly obvious. 

He would never admit any of this, but he hated it. Hated that everybody got to look at Lee. Hated that they thought it would be alright to stare at him. Hated that they probably thought what a hot guy he was. Of course he was a hot guy and his upper body was ripped as hell, perfectly shaped six pack and all.  _ His lower body was also ripped, by the way, but Barney was the only one in the room who could know that, or so he hoped.  _ But his body by far wasn’t the best thing about him, there was so much more to Lee Christmas than just his looks. Lee wouldn’t hesitate for a second to help or protect the people he liked, he was smart and easy to be around when you knew him well enough. He was also a loudmouth, which could be annoying at times, but Barney liked nevertheless..

Barney was too lost in thought to notice Lee standing next to him, asking him something. Since he had no idea what the other one had said, he just nodded and hoped that could be an appropriate answer to the question. Lee made his way over to lift some weights without saying anything else, so Barney liked to think that was what Lee was telling him. 

They both worked out for another hour until heading to the locker room. Lee was in a good mood and told Barney over and over that those exercises would help with his shoulder, happy to be right after all. But Barney was still a little pissed with everyone objectifying Lee earlier.

“So, you got a premium membership because the gym uses you as some kind of advertisement?” He really didn’t wanna say something, but kind of accidently let it slip anyway. 

“Uum.. No?” Lee was confused, but spoke on when Barney stayed quiet, “I have a job, remember? I work, therefore I get money and with money you can buy things, hence the gym membership.” 

Barney snorted, “Oh, that’s how it works. Thanks.”

“So what was that about?” 

“Nevermind! Just noticed how everyone stared at you when you took off your shirt..,” Which was another thing he actually didn’t want to say. 

Lee watched him curiously and still a little confused but just said, “Hmm.. Well, the premium membership is because of it’s permission to use the sauna, which is up next for us, by the way.” 

“Aren’t you Brits usually uptight about such things?” But Lee was already leaving for the shower and Barney just followed him, shaking his head at himself for saying any of that out loud. 

After they showered and grabbed a towel, Lee led the way to the sauna area, pointing in the direction of a wooden cabin, “We’re taking this one.” So Barney trailed after him, reading the sign saying ‘Finnish sauna, 90°C / 194°F’ when he passed the door. 

Inside the sauna Lee took the topmost bench while Barney sat down in the corner of the middle one so he could lean against the wall, stretching his legs out on the bench. Barney was glad they were alone, he didn’t need any more people staring today, and felt himself relax a little. That was until he had the brilliant idea to look at Lee. He sat there, legs crossed, hands resting on his knees, his head dropped back against the wall, eyes closed. Now it was Barney’s turn to stare. He noticed the obvious things first: the defined muscles in his shoulders and arms, his only half-hidden six pack and his strong thighs. When he looked closer he could see the sweat forming on his skin, a few drops already running down his body. None of this was really new to Barney, he’d seen Lee naked quite a few times and he’s covered in sweat whenever they work a job. What was new was his posture, Lee was completely relaxed, his shoulders as loose as his facial expression, apparently none of the usual alertness and tension left. 

After a few more seconds Barney forced himself to look away and close his eyes, even though he’d rather stared at Lee for a few more hours. 

Just after closing his eyes, Barney heard Lee’s voice, “Bloody hell, relax. I can hear you think!” 

Glad that Lee didn’t know what he was thinking about and also glad it was too fucking hot in there to get hard, _ he really wouldn’t want to explain that,  _ he just huffed. 

With Barney’s eyes closed, Lee was safe to fully open his own eyes. He’d seen Barney check him out through his half-opened lids. Lee took a look at Barney, but when he noticed the sweat running down his shoulders and arms over his tattoos and further, he closed his eyes again. He didn’t wanna go there. Not now. Not naked. And especially not with Barney only a few meters away. 

After about 15 minutes, their body clocks were pretty good thanks to their job, they left the sauna, Lee heading to the outdoor shower, immediately getting under the stream of ice-cold water while Barney watched him sceptically. 

“Gotta do this properly. Your turn.” He stepped aside to make room for Barney, who just ignored the invitation, “Yeah.. because you Brits have this big sauna culture?” 

Lee huffed but didn’t answer right away, which made Barney suspicious.

“Remember that one job I did between SAS and you finding me? Might have been in Finland and I might have stayed there a few more weeks,” he trailed off, but when he saw Barney’s worried look, with a forced smile he quickly added, “The perks of being unemployed.” 

“That.. actually makes sense,” Barney chuckled and even achieved making Lee laugh out.

Barney knew what Lee didn’t say. That he didn’t have a choice to work this job. That he was once again screwed over by the same guy that was responsible for his dishonorable discharge. That it was a shitty time. And maybe even that he was glad, Barney ‘found’ him, as he had put it. And if knowing this wasn’t enough, the fact that he didn’t swear while talking about it, clearly said that it was still hard for him to even think about that time. 

They showered and got dressed in relatively silence, both of them probably dwelling on thoughts. When they were about to leave the building Barney noticed that Lee threw another evil eye towards the desk clerk, who was short of hiding behind the counter. Barney shook his head, smiling and stepped into the fresh air, waiting for Lee to catch up. 

“Wanna come over and have a beer?” 

“Sure, meet you at your place.”

They left simultaneous, but Barney wasn’t surprised that Lee was already waiting on his front door when he arrived. He led them in, heading for the kitchen to grab a few beers and some shop-bought sandwiches while Lee made his way straight to the sofa. 

Barney walked over as well, handed Lee a Beer and a sandwich and sat down on the left side of his couch whereas Lee sat pretty much in the middle of it like he always did. 

After one beer had been at least 4 beers ago and one action movie they didn't really pay attention to had turned into another one, Lee slid further down into the cushions, shifting around until he was comfortable. Then he lifted his feet up onto the coffee table to the right, which moved his upper body closer to where Barney was sitting. 

“You know the rule against your stinking feet up on my table,” Barney said, not really caring at all, just like the last hundred times. 

Lee, just as unimpressed as the last hundred times, lazily raised his right arm, reached to his left and slapped Barney across the chest. Barney didn’t react other than a soft chuckle, so Lee didn’t even care to pull back his hand since both of them were kind of sleepy. When Lee closed his eyes, almost ready to doze off, he unconsciously started rubbing his thumb over Barney’s abdomen. Suddenly realising what he was doing, he abruptly opened his eyes wide and turned his head to look at Barney while he tried to withdraw his hand. But Barney was faster and already grabbed Lee’s wrist, holding it in place, so Lee could only look back and forth between Barney’s hand holding his own and Barney’s eyes watching him carefully. 

Now wide awake, Lee put down his feet, tucked up his left knee and turned around in one sudden move without his eyes ever leaving Barney’s. He sat right in front of Barney, looking at him confused, but there was something else in his expression, uncertainty, concern and maybe even..  _ Hope?  _

If there was even a small chance that Barney was right and it really was hope, this was his ‘now or never moment’, he gazed down to Lee’s lips, then looking him in the eye once again before he stopped thinking, leaned in and pressed his lips to Lee’s. 

Even though Lee didn’t really know what was happening, it only took him a second to kiss Barney back. He tilted his head so their noses weren’t in the way and raised his hands, putting one of them on Barney’s shoulder, grabbing the front of his shirt with the other. Without breaking the contact, Lee leaned back, pulling Barney with him until he was above him. Barney put his hands on either side of Lee’s head to hold his weight, not quite lying on top of him. 

Lee wasn’t satisfied with them not really touching, so he put his arms around Barney and turned him around in one swift move so that he was lying on top of him. They broke apart because of the sudden movement and Barney grunted as his back met the sofa. 

“Careful there,  _ grandpa _ ,” Lee grinned.

“I feel like you didn’t really like me being called grandpa earlier today.” Barney put his hands on Lee’s hips. 

“That’s ‘cause only I get to call you grandpa!”

“Didn’t know you were that possessive” 

“Turned you on, didn’t it?” Lee smirked at him, “Besides, you’re one to talk. Need I remind you how pissed you were that apparently everybody stared at me?”

“That’s because only I get to stare at you!” 

His chuckle was suppressed by Lee kissing him again, his tongue slid along Barney’s lips before pushing inside, finding his own tongue, nudging it slightly. Barney licked Lee’s lips while his hands came to rest on his shoulders. Barney broke the kiss to look Lee in the eye, “If you must know.. It did turn me on!” He grinned up at him, then kissed his chin, “Turned me on how you defended me..”, a kiss to the middle of his jaw, “turned me on to watch you work out..”, a kiss to the back of his jaw “turned me on to watch your naked body relax”, a kiss to the spot right behind his ear, “I’d especially like to see the last one again.” 

“Oh,  _ fuck _ !” Lee shuddered, finding Barney’s lips in a demanding kiss, while reaching down his hand between their bodys only to find Barney already hard, going by the bulge in his pants. Lee rubbed his hand against the stretched fabric of his jeans, making Barney drop back his head, moaning. But after only a few more seconds, Lee pulled up his hand, replacing the friction by thrusting his hips, rubbing their groins together impatiently. He closed his eyes, moaning, then felt Barney’s hands on the back of his head, pulling him down into another hard kiss, lips pressed together, tongues sliding against each other, fighting a battle. 

When Barney bit his lower lip, Lee lost the last bit of control he had left, pulling back against Barney’s hands until he could sit up. 

He reached for the fly of Barney’s jeans, one last checking look at Barney. At his shaky nod, he undid his fly button and zipper and pushed down his jeans along with his underwear. Without hesitation he took hold of Barney’s cock, stroking him. He immediately went for a fast rhythm, gripping him tight. He was pretty sure Barney was as desperate to get off than he was, so he didn’t even bother to start off slow and by means of the noises Barney was making, he was right. Barney put his hands on Lee’s thighs, grip steadily tightening. 

Muffled by his moans, Lee almost didn’t hear Barney saying his name, but when he looked up, Barney repeated his name, “Lee.. wait.” 

Lee stopped his motion, taken aback by being interrupted. But Barney already sat up and reached for Lee’s hips, “C’mere!”, he pulled him forward so he had to close in on him and then pulled down his sweatpants. 

He groaned as he realized that Lee hadn’t even worn underwear the whole time, which made Lee smirk in response. However his smirk was impermanent, because a fraction of a second later he tilted his head back, moaning as Barney pressed their cocks together, gripping them tight. He used his thumb to spread his pre-cum to slicken them up before he started stroking them, both of them moaning at the unknown sensation. 

Lee pressed one of his hands into Barney’s chest, making him lay back again and put the other hand on their dicks, “Lemme”. Barney obeyed, leaning back until he was laying down again, his hands back on Lee’s thighs while Lee began moving his hands. The friction of skin against skin was almost too much to take let alone Lee’s firm grip, jerking them fast and hard. Thrusting up his hips, moaning and pressing his thumbs into Lee’s hips, it took only a few minutes until Barney came, shuddering hard. Lee groaned at the sight, released Barney and with a few more strokes he came as well, closing his eyes, curse on his lips, “ _ fuck _ ” 

Not moving, both of them just breathed heavily, enjoying the aftermath of their orgasmns until Lee reached up, pulled off his shirt and used it to wipe himself clean briefly before he gave the fabric to Barney. Understanding, he took it and also cleaned himself up before he carelessly threw it onto the floor. 

A few more moments none of them said anything, not sure what to do, but Lee started moving around, pressing himself between Barney and the armrest, “Scoot over,  _ grandpa _ .” Barney relaxed and let out a chuckle, “Careful there, I can snap necks using only two fingers.” 

Both of them laughed and just lay there in comfortable silence for a few more minutes until Barney asked, “Wanna stay the night?” 

“Only if staying the night means sleeping in a bed. After five days in bumfuck nowhere I’m not ready yet to sleep on your shabby sofa.”

With another chuckle Barney gave Lee a short kiss before standing up, pulling Lee with him, “Well, come on then.” Lee didn’t need to be told twice. 


End file.
